A Dirty Look at the Very Least
Big black guy selling CDs: Hey, pretty lady…you like black people?Girl: No.Black guy: That's so cold.Girl's friend, whispering loudly: Did you just say no? He's going to shoot you.–Herald...
View ArticleJanie Got a Wednesday One-Liner
Voice over employee's walkie-talkie: Okay, I really need those guns. Anyone who has one, I need it down in bridal.–Bed Bath & BeyondObnoxious woman: So I said, "motherfucker, I'm not your...
View ArticleGod Bless the LIRR
30-something guy: Have you ever shot an AK-47?40-something girl: Oh my god, yes!30-something guy: How did it feel?40-something girl: Pulling that trigger… It's amazing.30-something guy: Getting punched...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Are Older, but No Wiser
Crotchety old Jewish lady, passing Palm Sunday parade: Easter is for amateurs.–W 72nd St & BroadwayOverheard by: Naomi Choy SmithLittle old lady looking down steep basement stairway: Wow…I wouldn't...
View ArticleBowling for Wednesday One-Liner
Drunk thug, reflecting on his baby-mama's new man: I love motherfuckin' guns, and that's the bottom line, but I don't wanna go to jail.–Bar, Cortelyou RoadBoy to limping blonde struggling to keep up:...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Forgot Their Coffee This Morning
Train conductor: This is New York Penn Station. New York Penn. For those of you who are just waking up, this is Penn Station. If you are supposed to get off at New York Penn, wake up and get off now!...
View ArticleOr Worse, in Grease 2
Man to cop: But if I shoot and kill someone in my home, it's no problem, right?Cop: No problem here; but you might have a problem in Greece.–30th Ave & 31st StOverheard by: venniblue
View ArticleIt’s All Greek to Me
Businessguy: It’s a small world. Businesschick: Especially in Astoria! Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha! Businesschick: Hee, hee. –Midtown office
View ArticleWhat Is He, A Dentist?
Crone: It’s 2:30! Shoot me, please. Why did I ever marry that man? –Office, 36th Street
View ArticleThe Republic of Nutty Texas
Texan Guy #1: Wow, I haven’t owned an overcoat in years! Texan Guy #2: In Texas if you wear one they’ll shoot you! It means you’re a bank robber. –Madison Ave & 43rd
View ArticleYeah, Bros before Hos
Girl #1: So then he shot his dad, because his dad was beating on his mom. Girl #2: Okay. Girl #1: Um, it’s sort of okay, but it sort of isn’t. –B train
View ArticleFully Automatic Water-Cooled Assault Wednesday One-Liners
Four-year-old boy: I have gun! Gun, gun, gun, gun, gun! –Gate, Newark Airport Overheard by: minkey Man on phone: Yo! The last time I saw that nigga I shot at that nigga! –43rd & 7th Overheard by:...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Won’t Give Peace A Chance
Black guy: Man, niggas got guns. You don’t know what they gonna do. –Astor Place Overheard by: couldn’t stop laughing Hungry guy: Tell him I’m gonna kick his ass! Tell him I’m gonna fuck him up, and...
View ArticleIt’s Not As If Bullets Hurt Him
Guy: Did you hear that the dude who shot the Pope got let go from jail? Girl: Yeah, and the Pope forgave him and everything. Guy: Wow, I totally want to shoot the Pope now! Girl: Yeah, he’d probably be...
View ArticleTupac Propaganda Machine: Excuse Us, but He Was Assassinated
Girl #1: Didn’t Tupac kill himself?Girl #2: Ummm, definitely not. He was shot.Girl #1: Oh. That’s unfortunate. –Lower East Side
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Have a History of Violence
Guy, to girl: If I wanted to be angry, I would have punched you in the face a long time ago. –34th & 7th Woman on cell: Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the...
View ArticlePretty Much Speaks for Itself
Alabaman, about MLK Day: Yeah, well, down in Alabama we don’t celebrate his birthday, but the day he was shot.College kid: Uh… –49th & 3rd
View ArticleWho Wednesday One-Linered Mr. Burns?
Black 30-something man: And she said, "Nigga, you wanna fuck mah titties wit a gun?" –Penn Station Overheard by: Amanda R. 10-year-old boy, very loudly, to 10-year-old girl: Oh, yeah, well…how many...
View ArticleAt Least, That’s What I Heard
JAP #1: Isn’t The Pursuit of Happyness an action movie? Because he needs money–JAP #2: –Not all black people need to shoot people for money. –Lehman College cafeteria Overheard by: can’t breathe
View ArticleAnd in the Face, Too
Girl #1 (about girl #2's ex): But would you shoot him?Girl #2: Yeah. Wellll… Maybe not in the face. I mean, I don't know if I would have the heart to, like, shoot him. At least not in the face. But I...
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